Fighting for a so-so cause

Get involved too! It is easier than you think!

By Are Kalvø (Norwegian writer and satirist)

After the big EAT conference with the princess, the Prime Minister, and that lot─there has been some criticism. There has. Not surprisingly. And maybe that has led people to think that it is impossible to get involved in something without being criticised. But that is not true. It is still possible to commit to a cause without being criticised. There are just a few things you need to keep in mind.

First of all:

Do not get involved in anything that is popular at the moment. You will no doubt be accused of throwing yourself on a trend. If, say, you live in a time when quite a lot of people are concerned about healthy living, eating locally produced food, caring about the environment, working out and looking good, you should not engage in anything healthy or local or environmentally friendly. And you should not work out. And you must not look good.

But as long as you are unfit, look a sorry sight and do not care about anything that other people care about, you are still in with a chance.

But of course - that is not enough.

It is also important not to be famous. I am sure you understand. Your involvement will quickly be brushed aside as a PR stunt. And you cannot know anyone famous either. It would be best if no famous people shares your opinion either.

But as long as you engage in something that no one else is interested in, something that presumably is not very important, and as long as you look like a mess, and you are known to nobody and you do not know anyone famous, you still have a chance.

But it is not enough. Of course not. It is not enough not to be famous or know anyone famous. It is best if you do not know anyone at all. Otherwise you might get criticised for having a powerful network. Or a non-powerful network, which might be even worse.

But as long as you have no friends and are unfit, and not much to look at, and not concerned about anything important, you are still in with a chance.

But the best course of action would be, of course, not to get involved in anything at all. If you get involved in something, you may quickly be criticised for thinking you are important.

There are a few more points to remember. Of course.

You must not have been ill. It will just look like you are fishing for sympathy. And you must not have been healthy all the time either, because that just makes you look perfect, and no one likes perfect people. Nobody.

But there it is: As long as you are ugly, and unfit, and not healthy or ill, and have never been well and never been ill, and you are not famous or know anyone or have an interest in anything, then it is an open opportunity.

Or, not open, of course not. It never is. And it never should be. People do not like people who have come too easily to things, people who just slide through life, with no resistance. So beware of open opportunities. But half-open, that is OK. Or, half-OK. Or even quarter-OK.

And that will have to do.

[Translated by yours truly.]

This summer

My quads tell me, this summer holiday will be legen-wait for it-dary!! 

When did they turn into Neil Patrick Harris?

Why?

I won't claim I've 'taken to running', but it happens. Twice this spring is, well, two times more than all of last year...

But why? Why on earth??

Could it be...

- The taste of blood in my mouth?
- The sound of my near-asthmatic wheezing?
- The feel of insects in my hair and mouth?
- The odd and worryingly recurring inclination to run uphill and walk downhill...?

Or...

- The look of pride on my son(aka PT)'s face, when he sees I actually did it?
- The sense of being out and about
- The pride in managing to turn down that Coke I've offered myself while running...?

Or...

- That I can use an app for it, that will tell me how far I've gone and where?

Nah. That would be so childish. That must be it  ;)

Advanced maths

Fifteen 12-year-old boys finish 8 pizzas in approx 6 mins 34 secs. Each pizza is divided in 12 slices.

a) how many slices per boy per second?

b) how much football cake can they possibly eat after that?

*dies*

I was in England recently, London, to be precise. There was this concert... And I'll leave you to guess... :)

Reading - and readers

I think I've become a horrible reader. I didn't use to be, in fact - one of my favourite authors once signed his book for me by saying "I wish I was as good at reading as you are" (this wasn't the first time he signed a book for me)!

When I was in school, especially up till I turned lazy teenager, I would read a book a day. At least. At 11 I was let out to the town library once a week when my classmates went to the school library - I had read all the books there.. (No, not the encyclopaedias from A-Z (or A-Å as it were!), but you get my drift!)

I consumed books. (Not having five children did mean more sparetime...) Some I found enchanting, some horrible, some funny, some unbearably sad - but it was always about the book, the story, the characters, somehow.

Now, I don't know. Lately it seems my liking for the characters completely decide whether I like the book or not. Example - I really didn't like The Kiterunner. At all. "Everyone" says it's fantastic and amazing and possibly the best book ever written and so on and so forth. But I ... Well, firstly, when I'm told by masses of people to read a book, I rarely do. (Except when recommended by favourite authors, in person, of course!) But this one I did. And for 2 reasons I decided I didn't like it - I didn't like the main character, he was a coward and a liar; and secondly, after a while I could guess the entire rest of the book, give or take a detail or two, but on the whole - no surprises. At. All...

But does that have to mean it's a bad book (no pun intended)? I mean - the language was flowing, I obviously felt the characters were extremely true to life, as I disliked one of them so much? So perhaps it was actually a brilliant book?

I don't know anymore... What makes a book a good read? That you want to read more of the same author / about the same characters? That you can't put it down once you've started reading? That it'd be worthwhile reading again?

I'll just keep reading until I find out - and beyond.

bloggers come to life!

On 3rd March 2006, at 01:00, I posted a quiz I'd made, about me (selfishly!). There were a few comments, and one was from a new blog friend / bluddy / blogling -

At 19:05, kimananda said...

Hey, considering I don't actually know you, I'm pretty pleased with myself! Now, I'm off to look around your clearly very hyggelig blog a bit more... :-)

We visited each other's blogs from then on, Kim and I, and at some point figured we should get together! After all, she lives in Copenhagen and it's not _that_ far away.

Well, it took us more than three years, but last weekend Kim and her daughter got on the boat, travelled right here, and we got to spend a day together! Here we are in all our splendid togetherness... It was wonderful meeting live (though we blog less, these days, and hang out more on facebook) - and it surely won't take us another 3 or 4 years to meet again!