What's in one's nature

Last night hubby and I was at a gospel concert, Oslo Gospel Choir, very christmassy event, and they're very good! The concert hall was chock-a-block - for the third time that day ( = 1,600 x 3), so you could say they're rather popular...

Sometime in the middle of all this singing and rejoicing, the conductor told us of a "gospel church" in Chicago that he's visited on a number of occasions. And asked us to participate a little more - urging the soloists on, that kind of thing. And we weren't asked to go out there and be outrageous, or anything like this, just clap a little more spontaneously and at "odd" times  :)

Now, I will remind you, good people, that this was all happening in Norway. And for Norway, the audience was excellent - ecstatic, almost. But now - participating more? Even though I wanted to, I found I couldn't do it. I mean, really couldn't. It was impossible _and_ embarrassing. Though I was happy enough that other people were at it, wholeheartedly!

It were as if I'd been asked to walk on my hands. Naked. 

Every reason I couldn't do it... 

And it wasn't like dancing - I really couldn't dance to save my life, but secretely I wish I could - this was different, I really had (and still have!) no idea how to do it or what to do or when or... 

I guess it just isn't in my nature... 

(Drawing: Erich Heckel, Handstand (Acrobat), 1916)