Seriously funny

I found it over at Josh and Josh's place!

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

The outcome was decidedly blue...

Luckily...! 

But on a distinctly bluer note... Amidst all voting & rejoicing for Obama, California voted FOR prop 8, and thereby making gay marriage illegal again - after it was only legalized in May this year. Though it hasn't been finally decided yet, there's even a chance this will have retro-active effect, thus rendering marriages from these past months null and void!

This morning I felt hungover. I felt sick. What if it was suddenly decided that 'all marriages from 1996 [yes, I'm that old...] are hereby declared null & void!' -- "and while we're at it, you can never marry again either, except with somebody else, whom we choose. Mwahahaha!" 

Hence the sentence that's been numbing my brain since I woke up this morning... "The outlook was decidedly blue..." I wish there was a way that this would end on a happy note, just like the song!

But as I walked through the foggy streets alone 
It turned out to be the luckiest day I've known (...)

the age of miracles hadn't passed!

R.E.M. in Oslo!

And I was there. More importantly - Mike, Michael and Peter were there, without whom it wouldn't have been so much fun. And it was great! But first there was The Disciplines. Norwegian band with Ken Stringfellow added. They were playing as we entered and may have been good, but I wasn't really paying attention.

The Editors followed. Now, I might have gone to see The Editors even without R.E.M. - they've got some great songs - and a very cute drummer (Ed Lay) ...

(I digress, as usual...) As it were, I couldn't quite lose myself to (or in) their music, the fate of any support band, I suppose!

And then R.E.M. entered the stage... It was a grand night! I have no great zoom lens, but rather sharp elbows, so managed to be as close as 2 ft away from Michael (Stipe!) at one point... Their setlist, and a rather excellent review of the whole evening - provided you read Norwegian - can be found at Helene's blog, where you can also see snippets of songs. I recorded some too but have been too lazy busy to upload them so far.

A fabulous mix of new and old songs, an excited crowd (for Norwegians, ie. there were even hips moving) and a little banter in between songs ...

- "I know you hear this all the time, but you really are such a beautiful people!"

- "I heard you've got gay marriage over here, that's great! You get gay marriage, we get ... John McCain... We really, really, REALLY hate our government"

But we love you, R.E.M.! Can't wait till you get back next time!

Not quite dead...

Today I've been baking. A lot. And will do some more baking tomorrow. I haven't decided to become a baker, but tomorrow there will be 4 brand new 8-year-olds in the house (and in the world, at that!), so naturally - there will need to be a constant flow of cakes! And lots of family coming to celebrate with us.

Saturday we'll be "celebrating" by going to a music festival in Oslo and see Rufus Wainwright (and others) - first time for the kids! They're quite looking forward to it, actually - to see this strange character that has their mother going all gooey... And to celebrate Rufus (?) - or life, actually - Norway has just passed a new marriage law, finally establishing equal rights for everyone, no matter who you love!

That's all folks, I'm off to finish my baking session for the night...

End of year meme

I stole this meme (from devilmood) to get myself started in 2008 (despite this wretched flu).

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?
Most importantly, I met a cyber friend in real life. Two, actually. And a lot less importantly, I decided to lose weight and did.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't have any, and haven't made any for this year either.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not that they told me of!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope, luckily!

5. What countries did you visit? USA (San Francisco), Sweden (Gothenburg), Scotland (Edinburgh) and Germany (Berlin). Which reminds me the two latter ones I still haven't posted photos from. Shame on me! I may do something about that...

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
I suppose I should say that I'd like to be more grown-up and sensible, but I really don't want to!

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 1st - first ever Rufus Wainwright-concert!! And the day my iPod was stolen (not by him, he only took my heart) (I know, that was lame...). October 5th, another Rufus concert and I got to meet him afterwards! And December 3rd, third Rufus concert and 2nd meeting. Obsessed? Possibly a little...

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I don't know that I've achieved a lot. I haven't been looking to either.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not even wanting to try a mature approach to life... Kidding! Doesn't feel like a failure ;)

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing worse than this flu. Well, there was sinusitis for a while, but no big deal!

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My new iPod :) (Insurance company paid for it, but I bought it...) Oh, and tickets!! Tickets to go away, tickets to go to concerts... Escapist? Undeniably so...

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Liverpool (for everything they do!), Ronnie O'Sullivan, Rufus Wainwright. Me? Nah...

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
I'm not easily appalled and depressed, although I must say Liverpool has tried a couple of times this year...

14. Where did most of your money go?
My money - tickets, iTunes (somewhere there's a moral streak, yes, I download legally). But our money is going mostly to this extension we're building!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Rufus! RUFUS! RUFUS! As you will all have heard by now ;)

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
"Between my legs" by Rufus (who else...) - not just because it's a good song (he's got so many!) but because I know somebody who went on stage with him to perform this song! (And no, it wasn't me..)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
(a) I'm always pretty happy, despite this flu...
(b) thinner, actually, bit of a surprise, that
(c) pretty much the same I guess, I'm not good at keeping count...

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
nothing comes to mind at the moment, well, I could probably have lived with even more travelling...

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
procrastinate? although that's pretty pleasurable pastime...

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Family, tons of presents (not for me!), more family, lots of cookies etc. etc. -- i.e. the traditional way

21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
I've felt that heart fluttering a few times, yes, especially around July 1st, October 5th and December 3rd... I'm not forgetting my hubby, I get that for him too still! But not on specific dates...

22. What was your favourite TV programme?
Should I say the one about us? But no, it'll have to be Champions League :)

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don't hate anyone. ManUre supporters come close, but that's nothing special for 2007 ;)

24. What was the best book you read?
I didn't read that many to be honest, but was impressed by Steven Gerrard's autobiography!

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Hmm, now who could that be? ;) I didn't actually discover Rufus in 2007, but I have discovered friends through his fan base, real friends, although I fear I'm a little off topic here? Oh - I did sort of discover Martha Wainwright (yes, his sister...) she's amazing!

26. What did you want and get?
For Christmas? I had a hard time making a list, actually, but I got a lot of stuff that would have been on the list had I remembered to put it there :)

27. What did you want and not get?
as I said, I didn't even know what to wish for... But what did I get without having wished for? Two complete seasons of Nanny - we're laughing & reminiscing every night!

28. What was your favourite film of this year?
Don't think I saw any really good ones, I'm sorry...

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
In theory I was 39, though going on 17 measured by maturity... My hubby'd made plans that didn't turn out, so we stayed home and had a grand Friday night in instead. (Fridays are our favourite to stay home. Ok, maybe I am 39 after all!)

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
a ton of money so I could have quit work and followed Rufus around?

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, oh, ok, sorry, well, I've got quite a few garments off the Rufus collection now, that must surely account for something? Oh - and with my liverbird tattoo I'm properly dressed for every occasion!

32. What kept you sane?
Music. In every aspect.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Now, this is a tough one...

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
erh, I know I should say global warming or something, but that still doesn't stir me as much as does discrimination of people who look or think or act differently than whoever makes up the "rules and regulations". Sigh... They should listen to my kids (read below)!

35. Who did you miss?
I miss my bloglings! I've been such a lousy blogger this year. I mean last year...

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Simon :) We met through Rufus' site and we've visited each other. He's adorable and fun and we're both 17 (mentally) and deeply in love with Rufus, so what's not to love? The kids loved him too - and not simply because he brought gifts from the official Liverpool shop (although that was very popular!)

-- as Filip said; "his English is very good, and he's nice, and he's awfully cool..." Incidentally, this has lead to my kids saying that gay people are just like the rest of us, only a lot cooler. We can live with that concept :)

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
valuable life lesson? At 17? I don't think so...

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

"there's a river running underground, underneath the town towards the sea,
That only I know all about
On which from this city we can flee"

- So you see, I can take you away from here! Let's escape again...

Prominently featured in my next slideshow - Rufus Wainwright

Rufus told me to do it!

The Castro

Walking down 17th Street from Haight to the Castro - and getting thereIt doesn't really show on the photo, but this local cinema was having a "Grease - singalong" night. I felt that was very appropriate :)

Rufus sings about 14th street - and even though I don't know for a fact that it's this one, I think it's a fair assumption. I forced my sister to stand in the middle of the street just so she could take this one. Fortunately, traffic was low... Just after she took this picture, a little old lady walked up to us and actually straight onto us. Pushing us aside as she walked. My sister commented on this in Norwegian. The little lady turned around - really slowly... "I've got a steel knee and I have to walk in a straight line", she explained. (Q: Did she understand Norwegian??) Then continued - "I'm 81 years old, I've lived here all my life. Tomorrow will be another fine day like this, and then the temperatures will drop". (Q: did her steel knee tell her this?) "What did you want to photograph here? There's a nice church just down ..." At this point she waved a hand in the general direction of Mission Dolores and then left us, trying to make it across the street on green...
We'd already been to Mission Dolores. Unfortunately, it was closed for some reason (though the sign stated the opposite), so we only got to see the outside.
Quite pretty on the outside too, though!

- is that bullet holes...?

Bagdad café, where we lunched. And learnt that "small portion" is actually ample...
So, was the Castro really different? Of course, there were rainbow flags everywhere. (Incidentally, last time I was in Rome, a few years back, there were rainbow flags everywhere there too - only they were symbols of peace, and used by the 'Americans out of Iraq' movement...) I saw 4-5 couples (one female) holding hands or holding their arms around eachother. I know I saw two guys in drag, possibly a third one but it could have been a girl... And there was that giant poster advertising family planning; two hot guys holding eachother and a woman standing discreetly a little way off - the tummy mummy? Other than that, it was just a really nice neighbourhood. Beautiful houses, clean, friendly, with some great bookshops (I didn't visit any other kinds of shops, come to think of it), and a lot of cute guys walking around...
Really don't see why this would have to happen only in the Castro, though. I'm all for people holding hands, whatever their preferences may be. And I really dislike people making out right in front of me even if they're as straight as nails...

Technological coming out

I'm thinking of a friend tonight. A lot. Earlier today, he finally told his sister he's gay. How? He'd set himself as "in a relationship" in his networking profile somewhere, and his sister finally stopped by today. (His friends have known about it all along - but his friends & family don't mingle.) He's been seeing someone for six weeks or so, and set his profile for his sister to see. I believe he did so February 18th, I seem to remember that.

And today, she stopped by. Saw his new status. Emailed him about who it could be, either of the network (girl)friends? She even started naming them, could it be this one, this one? He told her to think creatively. And finally gave her the link to his blog. Where all is revealed. All his thoughts around this subject for the past few years.

She said the family had sort of known, only hadn't wanted to believe it. They probably thought he'd grow out of it... She said that she felt sick. I imagine my friend felt worse. I hope he'll be alright. I wish I lived a little closer, only that wouldn't help - he'll have to go through this no matter what. At least he's got a sweet boyfriend. And I think his family will be alright about it. In the end. Let's hope soon.

On the bright side, Sweden just decided gays can get married in church. So there's hope :)

That's just NOT the way it is. Tell me it isn't...?

I moved to Oslo from Lofoten just after secondary school, when I was 18. The first real friend I made down here was I. We started singing in the same choir when she was 16, and we were best buddies in no time (none of us really fit in the choir of long-haired blondes from posh families). We hung out most of the time, although I won't blame her - or at least not solely her... - for me failing my first university exam... ;)

She talked to me about it when she thought she might be gay, I was the first one she told when she was sure... I was there when she told her parents, her brother and sister, and her grandparents. At different times... [Her mum probably thought I was of the same persuasion - once I'd stopped by wearing a dress (a rare occasion indeed, must have been on my way to something really formal...), she'd asked my friend if I was a transvestite... A dictionary would probably have been a good investment :) But I digress...]

All the while she was going through all of these phases, the insecurity, the first boyfriend, the first crush (not the boy...), the realisation and then, not least, the having to tell everyone -- I was just SO happy it wasn't me. I was so relieved I wasn't the one calling my old, blissfully ignorant granddad and shattering his world just a little. It was easy for me to be there for her, I felt I didn't have a single concern in life, whilst she had so many.

And I never for one single moment reflected that she had wanted this to happen.

... Now, I travelled with a friend to work the other day. We travel together quite a lot, and we've got kids at the same school, other than that we don't really "hang out". He's - up to now - seemed a perfectly irrational, marvellously insane and fun person to be with. I was also under the illusion he was quite intelligent. Somehow, though, we got talking about gays, and he said offhand that it wasn't his concern, and people should do as they please, but he'd never believe that this kind of thing was natural.

Hmm? Sorry?? Did I miss the irony??? But no, that was his idea of reality. And he said the only thing he felt was sad about this, was that some people would go through their whole lives, pretending to be something they really weren't. I totally agreed to that -- but for very different reasons!

So, this bright guy, hitherto proven quite liberal, and definitely no religious fanatic, told me that he thought "these people" had turned out like that by some influence or other, and by choice.

I was flabbergasted. I still am. Does this really happen? I thought it was just the ignoramuses!

My friend is still convinced she's gay, anyway... And has finally settled down with her girl, and their son, and all is well with our world...

Tray-up bitch

(I stole this from Børge's blog, just couldn't help myself...)

An airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one." To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up bitch."

And they say it's not genetic...

This is my friend's son C, dressed up as Rapunzel.

He wasn't on his way to a fancy dress party. He dresses up like this any day he's allowed to, cross-dressing is his middle name... He was about 6 here, is 8 now, but still loves dresses, make-up, jewellery. And yes, he takes classical ballet lessons.

Did I mention his uncle's at the opera in a European capital, very successful and very gay?

C has been like this since he was about 2. He hasn't shown any interest in his big brother's many cars or other "boy toys". He loves playing with dolls, and wearing his girlfriends' clothing..

His parents haven't exactly urged him into this, but they've slowly had to accept that when he was crying his heart out and saying all he wanted for Christmas was a Snowwhite dress, he meant it. And they gave it to him. And he was just as happy as in his Rapunzel outfit here.

He's aware that most boys have other interests, and has stopped bringing his dolls to school. He says that when someone asks if he plays with dolls, he says 'no'. But - so far - he hasn't been teased in school, and I hope he never will be. Look at those bright eyes. I'd hate it if something happened to put out that light. He's just adorable the way he is.

What's cooking?

Come all ye unfaithful monsters, witches and scarecrows, and ye shall have...

(Sidenote: A friend thought he might go as himself. Ring the doorbells and tell the people he's gay. That'd scare them...)

Got 6 minutes 23 seconds to spare?

This is the cutest thing I've seen in a long time. I just had to show you... (Thanks for the link, R!)

Little known facts about Norway

And I use the term "facts" loosely.
Riannan showed me the way here, and you'll have to go see for yourself. Uncyclopedia is made totally out of nonsense. It's hilarious! Make sure you don't mix it up with Wikipedia...

It did however contain a very good and uptodate post on Norway, that I would like to share with you. (I removed their links, though, so the links beneath are mine, neat and proper, in case you wanted to actually learn something...)

The People's Republic of Norway
(pronounced nowhere by Asians), one of the last Soviet states, joining the one-man club of Belarus. The fabled Slartibartfast created it around tea-time; as legend has it, he was inspired by a particularly complicated wrinkle in his tablecloth.

A member of the United Federation of Planets since its independence from Stockholm in 1953, the colony has a reputation amongst outsiders for censorship and a strong, almost fetishistic love of socks, particularly white ones. The colony has, in recent years, been at war with whales and, more infrequently, Good Christian Decency. A little known fact about these so-called Norwegians is that they reproduce asexually.

Tourist Information
There are 2 supermarkets in Norway, on account of the trees growing too thickly for anyone to be able to get their shopping trolleys to the checkout register. If you somehow manage to find one despite the odds, you should be advised that the names of the foodstuffs may be confusing. This is because bork is the Swedish spelling; Norwegians will be mortally offended at its mere whispered mention. The closest Norwegian equivalent is "bjørk" - please note that for a full and balanced diet, you need both bjørk and other bjørk, or the ever-popular daily multibjørk.

If you decide to wisit Norway be sure to bring lots of money, if you're income is less than 1.000.000$ don't bother, go somewhere else. Every year Germans invade Norway in their mobile homes, Germans are the only people that can afford to go to Norway. This is only because they bring their own place to live and their own food and therefore don't spend any money in Norway. Food in Norway is expensive, a Big-Mac menu costs 11$ and it's not even supersized. A car costs the same as the national budget of a small African country, so most Norwegians drive old underpowered cars. The roads of Norway holds a standard equal to the dirt roads in the Amazon jungle. Combined with the old shitty cars driving i Norway is a nightmare.

Gays in Norway
Norway is ruled by the gay dynasty. This is a dynasty which passes from one gay person to another every month. The gays have set for a modest reformation, which includes the rule that if you have a boring gay club in your area, you will get punished if you try to start a new one. The annual gay-tax for new clubs in 2005 is 95%. These taxes are then used to fund the old gay clubs and stop the new generation from starting clubs which favour fun before money. The gay dynasty also favours the old-church christians, just so they have someone to fight with. This is the only political group which is
allowed besides GDP (Gay Dynasty Party).

Major Cities
Hellesylt - Fluffy little town in the end of a fjord, actually the last remaining feral fjord in the world and the only fjord in Norway that has not been tamed. In the summer Hellesylt is a tourist magnet, in the winter, it's white.
Geiranger - Another fluffy little town, near Hellesylt. Often seen as a forest with a with many treehouses from a cruiseship. Its fluffiness may in fact be slightly more fluffy than Hellesylt's. But they're both pretty fluffy.

Sverige is one of the biggest cities in Norway. This is where the norwegians send all the retarded people. This city is known in other countries as Sweden.

This very last bit at least is true. Everyone knows that Sweden is full of . . . Which neatly links directly to my next, Scandinavian post... Coming up!

Finger analysis

You may have read or heard of the theory that the length of your fingers decide on your sexuality. Or, if not decides, at least tells the rest of us about it... If you're not sure what I'm on about, you can read about it here, here, and even here, if you like. As an example of heterosexual man I bring you this photo of Kristian Kjelling, purely because you can measure the length of his fingers on it, of course. (Yes, he's straight, at least his girlfriend & mother of his child likes to think so.)

But now it turns out that finger length also proves - or at least indicates - who'll be great footballers (yes, Americans, I do mean soccer players)... Research from the UK seems to suggest that good footballers possibly have a genetic advantage. Dr John Manning from the University of Liverpool (...) has suggested a link between the length of footballers’ ring fingers and their abilities as players. He found that elite players have longer ring fingers compared to their index fingers. (Remember that in gay men, this was the opposite...)

Players found to be in this ‘long finger club’ include Bryan Robson, Sir Stanley Matthews and Gazza (for the sake of public safety I'm not going to put a photo of Gazza here. Nor the smell of his breath (oh no, he wouldn't drink?), even if it should have been possible...) Dr Manning explains this unlikely linkage: “There is evidence that our fingers tell us how much of the male hormone testosterone we have been exposed to before birth. Early exposure to testosterone is important in males for the formation of the heart and in determining ability in spatial judgment.”

Right.

So here's yet an example of testosterone gone lost - this Mr. Kristian Kjelling is actually a professional HANDball player, with the Portland San Antonio in Spain... Should you be interested to see more (and I mean more) of this, erh, great personality, despite his obvious lacks in the finger / testosterone areas, there's quite a few good shots over here... Incidentally, he's also been appointed one of the best handball players today. In the world. Shame with those fingers, though..

1 year ago today (or Home Alone part 1)

Last summer I was also home alone, and surfing the net. (What's new?) But exactly 365 days ago I fell over Josh and Josh's blog! This post was the first I stopped at. God only knows what I was googling when I landed there... That was their "old" blog. I read everything. Now, you probably think I stayed up till 3 to read their new one as well? Pah. Did not. Stayed up till 4.30, actually... It's one of the very few blogs I've read every post of - their old and new. They've been very inspirational in my making my own blog.

Then it isn't so strange, maybe, that Harvard's probably very precise and accurate research came up with this:


It also turns out I have a slight preference for dark-skinned people compared to light-skinned people. Which would explain the get-a-tan-NOW-frenzy I used to get every summer... If you're unsure whether you are as biased as I am, you can take the test here. And I'll try not to hold it against my poor, white, straight hubby when I see him again next Friday...

Madonna and I

I used to think I was gay. Until I hit puberty and my body came out - a girl! I'd never noticed until then. Even though I spent more time with the girls in school than the boys, I still felt that whenever I was staring at them (i.e. the boys) I really shouldn't be... I secretly listened in on news relating to gays, because nobody had to know that was me, right?

Even at uni - obviously not the most feminine of girls (never knew what make-up was, still don't!) - people would often think I was gay. Only - they would think I was a lesbian... Until they got to know me better and found out that I really, really like boys. (Now, I'm not talking man-eating here, far from it, mostly man-watching!)

I've always wanted to be a mum, though, and now I've been blessed with five - and a gorgeous husband! - I do feel I'm on the right shelf (or whatever it's called), but I still prick up my ears when I hear the word 'gay', as if I was mentioned by name.

I guess that's one of very few things Madonna and I have in common (if she really did say this, that is!) - 'I'm a fag trapped in a girl's body'...

One of life's little surprises

This summer, some friends of ours broke up, he moved out, they got separated. They'd been married for a number of years, they've got a son, I think they got together when they were about 18-19.

Happens all the time, right? Still, we did wonder what, if anything, had happened.

A few days ago we were told. Along with a few other reasons to their halting marriage, it turns out our girlfriend is gay. Apparently she hadn't really known until around Christmas time. And then it took several months of misbelieving, seeking professional help, pulling her hair etc. until she made the decision she had to make.

Of course, there was no way around it. And of course, they're both really sad about it, in a way. For the sake of their son they remain friends. He's still in love with her. For his sake I wish things had been different, but what can you do? Living a lie certainly wouldn't last. He wishes her all the best - she wishes him the same.

And amidst our bewilderment at the development of things, lies the feeling that it really isn't that surprising. There really was something all along, wasn't there? Something untangible, just a hint of a feeling. Maybe I just want to be able to say "yeah, well, I already knew that.." But that's not it. I never knew. I just think I might have known, had I considered there was something I needed to know.

The important thing is - congrats to you for coming out, best of luck to you both, best of luck to your son as well. We'll do anything we can to help you get through this - just call, all right?