Rufus' English school - part I

Filip has been listening to Release the Stars a lot lately, and although his spelling leaves something to be wanted, you can't say he's not trying! :) Found this after he left the blackboard the other day.

Writing meme

I'm supposed to mention the qualities of a good writer or good writing, Devil Mood said when she tagged me. (I have avoided reading how she answered the meme, so as not to ruin all my chances of writing something original. Here goes...)

Firstly, I don't know how to separate the two! To me, good writing is what makes a writer great, so I guess it all comes down to the writing. I'll be real subjective here! And short. So I'll stick to books rather than poetry, or plays, even though I enjoy that too. Rufus' lyrics included...

The stories I enjoy reading ... are usually very wordy. And more often than not, quite non-sensical. When we 'had to' do the neoclassical period during my English studies, I was thrilled. Jonathan Swift, Daniel Defoe, Henry Fielding - and not to forget, Addison & Steele's Spectator Essays (sic!) - were all such fun to read! Shakespeare, just the same - Chaucer I adored. Naturalism moved me not one bit, however sad the stories...

Yes, yes, I've read more modern stuff too... I've even read a few classics in my time, I'm sure. But if a writer knows his way with words, he can have his way with me! (It's a metaphor!! No reason to alarm hubby.) I'm the kind of gal who stays up late to fill my fun quota some way or other; busy day at work, quarrelling kids and lots of chores? Well, when everybody (and I do mean everybody else has gone to sleep I stay up, watch fun youtube videos, chat with friends & bluddies, play online scrabble... Until I'm full up.

Few of my current favourite authors are "up there" with the Nobel prize winners (come to think of it, I do read Shakespeare - he would have had one, surely, had he not died before Nobel was born), I love people like Terry Pratchett, P.G. Wodehouse and Douglas Adams. And Lars Saabye Christensen, a Norwegian - but worth reading still. - There are only about 70,000 words in Norwegian, compared with 400,000 in English -- but he seems to know his way around them all!

I've described before I had once had a proper goosebump moment reading a book. I didn't even think the book was all that good after finishing - but that particular chapter had me enthralled. Recently, I had another of those moments, two, in fact. Reading ... Steven Gerrard's autobiography! I know, much as I love his football skills I had never thought he'd stir up such emotion through his writing... I love the guy, loved the book, the language (ok, maybe he had a little help writing? still...) -- but my chills came when he described, in much detail, a couple of games that changed completely when they least expected it. So was it really the writing that did it? Hard to tell...

So, to me good writing is stuff that makes me

a) chuckle

b) laugh out loudc) run for a dictionary (or a number of them)

d) get the chills

e) all of the above

For more objective views on writing, try our book blog - The bluddy list of great novels. (You can even contribute.) Or go read something yourself!

To make a short story really long...

What I want is your help to translate a (very!) Norwegian expression. It literally translates as "good day man, axe handle" -- but as this isn't particularly explanatory (I'd imagine!) I'll have to provide you with the entire folk tale where this comes from. Sorry guys...

“Good day to you!” – “Axe handle”
Once upon a time there lived a ferryman who was so deaf he could neither hear nor gather what anyone said to him. He had a wife, two boys and a small girl, and they took no heed of him, but lived happily as long as there was something to live on, and after that they bought on tick from the innkeeper and every day was a party.
When noone would vouch for them in the end, the bailiff was coming to pledge for as much as they had borrowed and wasted; so the wife and children went to stay with her relatives, and left the deaf man stay behind to meet the bailiff.
The man went about his business, and he wondered what the bailiff would be asking him, and what answers he should give.
“I will start making something”, he said to himself, “then he will ask me about that. I will start whittling an axe handle.
He will ask me what I’m making; and I will say:
“Axe handle”
Then he’ll ask me how long it will be; and I will say:
“Up to this twig”
Then he’ll ask me where the ferry lies; and I will say:
“I was going to tar her; she’s lying on the beach with cracks in both ends”
Then he’ll ask: “Where’s your grey mare?” and I’ll say “she’s carrying, due any minute”
Then he’ll ask: ”Where’s your cattle, and your summer cowshed?” And then I’ll say:
“It’s not far at all; when you go up that hill, you’ll be there in no time”
And he thought this was a cunning plan.
Verily, after a short while the bailiff showed up. But the ferryman had been to see the innkeeper, and had a few drinks, before his arrival. “Good day to you!” the bailiff said.
”Axe handle” the ferryman answered.
”Is that so” the bailiff said. “How far away is the inn?” he asked.
“Up to this twig”
The bailiff shook his head and stared at him.
“Where’s your wife, man?”
“I was going to tar her; she’s lying on the beach with cracks in both ends”
And where’s your daughter?
“she’s carrying, due any minute” the man answered; truly content with his answers.
“Oh, go to --, you’re such an ass!” the bailiff said.
“It’s not far at all; when you go up that hill, you’ll be there in no time”, the ferryman said…

So -- the expression is used if someone's answers are worse than a shot in the dark... If I ask you what the capital of Ireland is and you answer "11", or I ask you what you think of blogging and you answer "very well, thank you"... Is there an English idiom covering this? (One dictionary has "at cross purposes" but that's not the same - this is really without purposes...)

Phew...

Your Language Arts Grade: 100%

Way to go! You know not to trust the MS Grammar Check and you know "no" from "know." Now, go forth and spread the good word (or at least, the proper use of apostrophes).

Are You Gooder at Grammar?
Make a Quiz

I'm keeping the job :)

Tuesday tale on a Valentine Wednesday

What is your favourite quote?
There are so many excellent quotes. I'm a quotomaniac. If that's a word. Well, it should be. My favourite quote is probably still Oscar Wilde's "Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast", though. Go figure...

Your favourite slang word?
Hmm. English or Norwegian? I don't really use a lot of slang, I don't think. Possibly, the kids' (not just my kids. Anyone's kids these days..) adoption of the English "rules", as in "Liverpool rules!". Which they do, of course, only in Norwegian ("Liverpool ruler!") it still sounds a little quaint, methinks...

What is your least favourite slang word?
Well, in keeping with what I just said, this could be the Norwegianisation of "sucks" (as in "ManU suger") which as an expression is already here to stay but which I personally find extremely offensive still. Ok, and funny. At least in this connection...

If you could have a book about your life, who would write it and why?
Good question. Great author urgently needed. There are a few bluddies around with the gift of the, erh, keyb? Anyway, I'd better write it myself, I think. Another writer would go insane from all my post-editing, whereas I do editing as a profession... And seriously, I don't think anyone else could be bothered.

- Oh yes, happy Valentine's day to anyone so inclined*!

*I originally wrote "to anyone so declined", but then I thought you might think that I thought that this was how the saying went, so I thought better of it. Very thoughtful...

I'll give you dessert if you help me...

It tastes great! It's one of my favourite desserts! And it's not "brown betty" or "apple charlotte", as our dictionary suggests... So, what might it be in English? Even if you don't know - it's worth giving this one a try...

4 portions

3-4 dl (10-14 US fluid ounces...) of powdered sweet rusk

3 tablespoonfuls of sugar

2 tablespoonfuls of butter / margarine

2,5 dl (8,5 US fluid ounces) cream

3-4 dl (see above!) of cooked, mashed apples

Mix the powdered sweet rusk with sugar and butter (margarine) in a frying pan and brown lightly. Cool. Whip the cream. Put the powder mix, mashed apples and whipped cream in layers in a large bowl or small individual bowls. Should be served newly made. Enjoy :)

BTW, it's called "veiled farm girls" in Norwegian. Don't ask me why...

Vacancy

Company:
Me (more info)

Type:
Full-time. Preferably available from 8 AM (GMT+1) and onwards.

Experience:
Yes. That would be good. Oh, you mean with what? Languages. Duh...

Function:
Assistant Editor

Industry:
Dictionary Creation & Editing

Requirements:
Fluent English. Time in abundance. Msn / gmail / other chat option. Ability not to laugh at insane questions as long as they're about words...

Salary:
Helping foreigners learning correct English is of course its own reward.

Starting date (tick one):
- NOW!
- Yesterday
- June 2006
- Last week
- All of the above

There, there, get in line nicely, no pushing! Leave your (or your colleague's / (soon-to-be ex-)friend's) chat address in the comments or email me, ok? Looking forward to a lifelong collaboration! (And I mean that in sense 1, not 2, obviously...)

(What? Why are you implying I'm stuck on a word? I'm not!!! I'm stuck on several...)

Word of the day

New word, at least to me, and from the kids:

"Automagical"

That's their description of the automatic taps that were in the city hall wardrobe.

Apparently it's not a new word to the world - but I still think it was rather inventive of them!

What's this then..

You know, sometimes when things rhyme, they don't exactly rhyme...? Stuff like:

I love you dear
more than a bear

or

you are my sweetie
I'll say it in graffiti

(well, that last one sort of rhymes, but...)

What I need is the word for the kind of rhymes that don't really rhyme... In Norwegian it's "emergency rhyme" -- only it doesn't sound quite so ridiculous in Norwegian.. Anyone?

My favourite songwriter, Lars Lillo-Stenberg (Norwegian, you guessed it!) once said something like; "It's not necessarily [emergency rhyme] if it doesn't rhyme, as long as it fits the context - but if you have a perfect rhyme that's just thrown in there for the sake of rhyming, then you've got yourself an [emergency rhyme]."

(He'll have words like - and I freely translate - "sent her" rhyming with "centre", and would never just throw in an "abuse" to go with "accuse" if he feels "misuse" would be more accurate...)

So I might have got the definition wrong. But I'd still like the English word for it. And it's not too late (Claire...), the next edition isn't due before March. What you get in return? I'll have to think about that...

I know -- you get to write your own, almost-rhyming poems right here in the comment section!

Working from home - so I need you!

These homemade cars - could be any standard from three planks to proper replicas, but always without engine (other than the feet of the driver and / or helpers...) - have they got a name in English? Or do you buy all your cars at Toys'r'us...?

Incidentally, working on a long, alphabetical list, I reached words with "morning-" today. And as I browsed down I found myself wondering where the afternoon- and night- words were... What can I say? It's Friday...

Well, here goes..

3rd day at work and already I need help! Does anyone out there know what these 4 items are called in English? The first ones are gloves with half fingers and without any fingers. Then there's a serving tray with a stem, and finally a "honey spoon" (for want of a better word) - which usually is made out of wood but I couldn't find a photo of one like that.. Any suggestions?
And yes, this is me working. Ahh...

A quick preview into editing

3 more working days before I'll start my new job. Quite a few people ask what I'll actually be doing. So, to give you a hint, I'll set you a task! Here - two words:

1. Stupid
2. Drunk
(Imagine them both being in Norwegian, for sake of dictionary-making..)

As editor, I'll need to translate them. Now, these both have multitudes of synonyms. I'll give you a handful, then explain further.

1. foolish, silly, gormless, dumb, oafish, dense, thick, dim-witted
2. inebriated, intoxicated, pissed, well-oiled, pickled, potted, crocked, sloshed

The game (erh, sorry, the work!) is as follows:
- decide which words (translations) to choose, add or remove others,
- decide the order they should appear in,
- add more information. Informal? Slang? British? American? Taboo? Medical? Old-fashioned?
- then provide examples / expressions. (Thick as two short planks. Well and truly plastered.)
- keep it short, you're compiling a dictionary, not a novel...

If you think this sounds boring - be happy that I'm the one going to do this! And if you enjoy this kind of thing - feel free to finish this task...

- And for the best example ever of a row of synonyms, read - or preferably listen to - this!

And the winner is...

"Scholiast"
Editor

Thank's for all your ideas, suggestions and comments - it really did help!
The manager of my new job agreed the other editors would need a lot of sub / junior / vice things added on theirs ;) Besides - they're all freelancers and don't get these cards...

Let's see now...

Wikipedia:
Executive editor
The top editor sometimes has the title executive editor or editor-in-chief (the former is replacing the latter in the language). This person is generally responsible for the content of the publication. [The exception is that newspapers that are large enough usually have a separate editor for the editorials and opinion pages.]
The executive editor sets the publication standards for performance, and is responsible for assuring the highest standards of ethical conduct in the process of gathering and presenting information, as well as for motivating and developing the staff. The executive editor is also responsible for developing and maintaining the publication budget. In concert with the publisher and the operating committee, the executive editor is responsible for strategic and operational planning.

This about sums it up, actually.

But other suggestions I've had are (in random order): Chief Supervising Editor, Editing Chief, Supervising Editor, Senior Editor, Editing Consultant, Senior Editing Consultant, Managing Editor, Publishing Editor, Editor-in-chief, Chief Editor, Principal Editor, "Chief editor, translations".

Most votes so far on Editor-in-chief. Someone also said "less is more". Maybe simply Editor will do? Wouldn't an Editor-in-chief be in a newspaper or magazine?

Linguists, come hither!

Dear bloglings. I have a bit of a, situation. You see, I'm starting my new job in June. It's great, it's amazing, I'm so looking forward to it, and all that.

But I have no title.

They'll be printing my visiting cards, and all titles are in English, only my title is, apparently, untranslatable.

A bummer for a company that lives on dictionaries...

We could, of course, find a translation. The thing is, though, there may already exist a similar job position in English, and we just don't know it. So - will you help me?

I'll be editing, compiling (or extending / expanding, rather) and proof reading dictionary entries. I'll be supervising similar work done by others. I'll be responsible for the biannual updates of the dictionary. The Norwegian title translates "responsible editor".

I could be just that, only it doesn't sound very English. I could be "liable editor" but I'm not really liable, I'm responsible for the words, not the financial bit. I could be editor-in-charge. Sounds like a translator-in-arms...

Any others? I'll donate a letter to the winner ;) Oh, and quickly - please - they're printing the visiting cards before Easter...

Name dropping

Be careful what you name your child, especially if you ever travel outside your country... The following Norwegian names (and stories) are true:

My second year in England one of the other Norwegian students introduced himself as "Bent. Both ways". And he was... As was the couple Odd and Even - such a shame they broke up!

Three friends travelling together in the US were Baard, Are and Arnt. You guessed it - pronounced 'bored', 'are' and "aren't" - and noone believed them...

Njaal was also travelling. Now, his name is supposed to go something like Nyawl (with a 'ya'-sound like in yacht, and to rhyme with haul). When he travelled in South America, people really tried to pronounce his name. It would end up like 'Nord' or 'Neil' or something, but at least they gave it their best effort. When he introduced himself travelling the States, people simply said - "that's alright, we'll just call you Bob"!

So, if anyone wondered why our kids have solid Greek names (albeit also common in Norway and England), now you know!

The English language

Now, don't get me wrong, I love English - I hardly ever even read books in Norwegian.. But sometimes I wonder... A typical (British, anyway) response to something like this (that I stole, of course):

- You do realise I despise you, and consider you pond scum. Well, lower actually. You're like the fungus that feeds on pond scum. No, lower. The pus that infects the mucus that cruds up the fungus that feeds on the pond scum.
- Yes, I appreciate that!

What's to appreciate...? Are we talking s & m here?
Or is this just, you know, like you say when someone has just broken their leg before their long-awaited summer holidays by the Mediterranean, and their friends remark 'how inconvenient'? And it's not inconvenient, it's f* horrible! Ok, inconvenient will suffice...