16 September 2005

One of life's little surprises

This summer, some friends of ours broke up, he moved out, they got separated. They'd been married for a number of years, they've got a son, I think they got together when they were about 18-19.

Happens all the time, right? Still, we did wonder what, if anything, had happened.

A few days ago we were told. Along with a few other reasons to their halting marriage, it turns out our girlfriend is gay. Apparently she hadn't really known until around Christmas time. And then it took several months of misbelieving, seeking professional help, pulling her hair etc. until she made the decision she had to make.

Of course, there was no way around it. And of course, they're both really sad about it, in a way. For the sake of their son they remain friends. He's still in love with her. For his sake I wish things had been different, but what can you do? Living a lie certainly wouldn't last. He wishes her all the best - she wishes him the same.

And amidst our bewilderment at the development of things, lies the feeling that it really isn't that surprising. There really was something all along, wasn't there? Something untangible, just a hint of a feeling. Maybe I just want to be able to say "yeah, well, I already knew that.." But that's not it. I never knew. I just think I might have known, had I considered there was something I needed to know.

The important thing is - congrats to you for coming out, best of luck to you both, best of luck to your son as well. We'll do anything we can to help you get through this - just call, all right?


lisa schamess said...

Welcome to the blogosphere! I look forward to getting to "know" (read) you. I am glad to know that in one other country at least, it is customary to prefer your neighbor's lunch to your own. Is that a violation of one of the Commandments, I wonder?

I found you through A Rare View.

(I am having some success reading Harry Potter to my six-year-old--no pictures! But lots of snuggling)

Scholiast said...

Thanks! And thanks to you I found popword. Very addictive..

Rarity said...

That's an amazing story, Scholiast!

Not to diminish it. But, this is actually the second time I hear this exact thing happen. Only the first time happened to a couple of friends of mine about five years ago... Take some comfort when I tell you they're all doing fine!

Scholiast said...

I'm not surprised. Actually, it happened to someone else I know as well, only I didn't know her at the time :) Goes to show it's not that uncommon.

Hopefully my friends will be just as alright as yours in the end..

riannan said...

I too know a couple of people who have experienced this. And there is a theory held by some that everyone is to some extent bisexual. I have a friend who is in a rocky second marriage and recently commented that maybe next time she would find a woman to love (we do know one very happy lesbian couple), as she would like someone more nurturing and companionable next time around